1. |
Eyes Closed
03:32
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I guess that you were right when you said some friends you will outgrow
Didn't know that it’d be us
Cause I’ve been so emotional ever since you hugged me like the last time you’ll hug me
Ever since then I wanna keep friends close
I wanna tell my mom that I love her
And call my grandparents
Cause God knows I don’t call them
Enough.
I wanna keep my eyes closed
I wanna keep my eyes closed
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2. |
Let Go
02:31
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I hate how everything reminds me of you,
I found your necklace in the bathroom,
Sitting next to your tooth brush,
God I wish I could escape you.
But I know that it will take time to feel okay with
being alone
Letting us go
When you’re all I’ve ever known
It’s time to let go of the comfort of not being alone and inconsequential conversations that we had over the phone. There’s a certain sunken cost to leaving everything behind. I don’t want to miss you all the time.
This morning I made coffee in the French press that you bought me for my birthday
But it tasted different than the cup you used to make me
And I know that it will take time to be alright with
being alone
Letting us go
When you’re all I’ve ever known
It’s time to let go of the comfort of not being alone and inconsequential conversations that we had over the phone. There’s a certain sunken cost to leaving everything behind. I don’t want to miss you all the time.
I don't want to miss you all the time, I still miss you all the time.
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3. |
Cubicle Cell Blues
03:18
|
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Jon said we’re still young but we’re out of our prime. Our backs will ache and our necks will feel the stress of the day. Staring at blue screens and watching out friends move away to peruse bigger things.
But I have learned life is about waking up, working for the man, falling asleep just to do it again, and trying to keep your head above the water long enough to be comfortable.
We’re all stuck in youth until we’re chasing it. There’s no greater enemy to gravity than skin. When time is weighing on your chest, and the existential dread starts to kick in.
But I have learned life is about waking up, working for the man, falling asleep just to do it again, and trying to keep your head above the water long enough to be comfortable.
Cause all I want is to be comfortable
|
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4. |
||||
I wish I could hold a conversation without spewing some awkward bullshit and I wish I was comfortable in my own skin.
But loving yourself is way harder than going to the gym or getting a haircut and I have done none of the above
So I’ll continue to sit here and wallow in my own self loathing.
I don’t know why my friends choose to be around me
I wish I wasn't so fucking anxious every time I have an interaction with anyone who isn't my mom.
I guess I'm feeling off today. But I was feeling off yesterday so I'll self isolate until the earthquakes in my bones go away.
I don’t know why my friends choose to be around me
I don’t know why my friends choose to be around me
I don’t know why my friends choose to be around me
(I'll self isolate)
I don’t know why my friends choose to be around me
(I'll self isolate)
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5. |
High Five
02:08
|
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If I could take every cringy thing I’ve said and replace it with something cool, interesting, or funny maybe I would be in a better place
And not sitting up late at night thinking about the time where I went for a handshake and they went for a high five
My life has been a collection of waving at someone who’s waving at someone behind me
And when my brain starts to wander there, there’s no turning back
I feel so paralyzed that I can’t sleep
I just want to be the boy who can drag a cigarette without coughing his lungs out
But I know that’s not me and it will never be
No it will never be
|
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6. |
Hate State
02:36
|
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I’m sick and tired of televangelists,
who only want to make money
and propagate a passé passage to justify their bigotry
But if today my only problem is Kenneth Copeland
then I’m pretty fucking privileged
I’m sick and tired of armed militias
that want to protect property,
they’d rather murder a protester,
than see a burning building
I know that all I have to do is get off Instagram,
but I’m too fucking addicted
I hate the state of everything, I wish that I could fall asleep for the rest of my life and not have to worry about a thing. I miss the blissful ignorance that I had when I was young and not afraid to go outside. But I can recognize that it’s my privilege that makes me want to close my eyes and not see a thing. Cause it’s harder for you in this country if you don’t look like me.
FUCK
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7. |
IH8WEED
02:17
|
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Take a hit then freak the fuck out
Feeling heavy sink into the couch
I wanna feel in control
My heart is racing faster than it's ever raced before
And I don't want to be here anymore
There's a heartbeat in my brain
I can feel the blood pumping through
My veins
I've given up on sleep tonight
I'm feeling claustrophobic
And I'm too afraid to turn off the lights
I'm paranoid and looking out the window
Hoping not to see the cops
Cause they'd surely book me
Holy shit can some call an ambulance?
Cause this panic attack won't seem to go away.
There's a heartbeat in my brain
I can feel the blood pumping through
My veins
I've given up on sleep tonight
I'm feeling claustrophobic
And I'm too afraid to turn off the lights
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8. |
||||
Secrets out
Watch what you say I've been dreaming now
I feel awake when I'm sleeping now
Problems in life rather be without, so I'm dreaming now
The colors blue, I fuck the sky and hug the moon I don't abide by human rules. I think the sentimental razor blade incisions in my skin is cool as women who post a pic up on the gram to fuck themselves with likes and mentions to avoid the truth. I think we had that shit in common, death is truth when you're too honest. I'd rather sleep than to have to hear another peep from you bastards. I'm absent from all of the teeth when they chatter. It's actually sad that I felt like I mattered, it's only a matter of time that this world will eventually shatter. And where do we go when the demons are climbing the latter to reach in and snatch up our souls? Cause we're just getting sadder and sadder each day, people are passing away, stuck in they houses today. Internet surfing like what's the new madness today? I'd rather dream than to deal with this shit.
Secrets out
Watch what you say I've been dreaming now
I feel awake when I'm sleeping now
Problems in life rather be without, so I'm dreaming now
(Life isn't phasing me, staring at the ceiling)
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9. |
Sleepy Eyes
02:41
|
|||
I swear I died.
Or was I born for the first time when I saw your face in this light?
An angel with soft skin and sleepy eyes
I fell for you just like a fool who falls for anything
And maybe, it's just the drinks but I feel like I'm floating
Man, this is fucking bliss
Cause you killed all my insecurities with just one kiss
And now I'm hooked just liked I smoke a cigarette
|
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10. |
Ugly World
05:03
|
|||
Today I'll sit around and eat until I nap
and nap until I forget about the place I'm at
I want to waste away and be no one.
Then I'll wake to find I'm still inside my house
afraid of what's outside I'll never venture out
but I guess I made this bed, so I'll lie in it.
This world is uglier than I
remember it, remember it
This world is uglier than I'd
like to admit, care to admit
to myself
I pray our president will get the guillotine
for hurting everyone that doesn't look like me
I'm sick of everything. Yeah, I'm over it.
Everyone has lost all their humanity
they turn away from someone dying in the street
well I want no part of it. Get me out.
This world is uglier than I
remember it, remember it
This world is uglier than I'd
like to admit, care to admit
This world is uglier than I
remember it, remember it
This world is uglier than I'd
like to admit, care to admit
to myself
|
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