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Staring at the Ceiling From a Cold Bed

by Quality Time

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1.
Eyes Closed 03:32
I guess that you were right when you said some friends you will outgrow Didn't know that it’d be us Cause I’ve been so emotional ever since you hugged me like the last time you’ll hug me Ever since then I wanna keep friends close I wanna tell my mom that I love her And call my grandparents Cause God knows I don’t call them Enough. I wanna keep my eyes closed I wanna keep my eyes closed
2.
Let Go 02:31
I hate how everything reminds me of you, I found your necklace in the bathroom, Sitting next to your tooth brush, God I wish I could escape you. But I know that it will take time to feel okay with being alone Letting us go When you’re all I’ve ever known It’s time to let go of the comfort of not being alone and inconsequential conversations that we had over the phone. There’s a certain sunken cost to leaving everything behind. I don’t want to miss you all the time. This morning I made coffee in the French press that you bought me for my birthday But it tasted different than the cup you used to make me And I know that it will take time to be alright with being alone Letting us go When you’re all I’ve ever known It’s time to let go of the comfort of not being alone and inconsequential conversations that we had over the phone. There’s a certain sunken cost to leaving everything behind. I don’t want to miss you all the time. I don't want to miss you all the time, I still miss you all the time.
3.
Jon said we’re still young but we’re out of our prime. Our backs will ache and our necks will feel the stress of the day. Staring at blue screens and watching out friends move away to peruse bigger things. But I have learned life is about waking up, working for the man, falling asleep just to do it again, and trying to keep your head above the water long enough to be comfortable. We’re all stuck in youth until we’re chasing it. There’s no greater enemy to gravity than skin. When time is weighing on your chest, and the existential dread starts to kick in. But I have learned life is about waking up, working for the man, falling asleep just to do it again, and trying to keep your head above the water long enough to be comfortable. Cause all I want is to be comfortable
4.
I wish I could hold a conversation without spewing some awkward bullshit and I wish I was comfortable in my own skin. But loving yourself is way harder than going to the gym or getting a haircut and I have done none of the above So I’ll continue to sit here and wallow in my own self loathing. I don’t know why my friends choose to be around me I wish I wasn't so fucking anxious every time I have an interaction with anyone who isn't my mom. I guess I'm feeling off today. But I was feeling off yesterday so I'll self isolate until the earthquakes in my bones go away. I don’t know why my friends choose to be around me I don’t know why my friends choose to be around me I don’t know why my friends choose to be around me (I'll self isolate) I don’t know why my friends choose to be around me (I'll self isolate)
5.
High Five 02:08
If I could take every cringy thing I’ve said and replace it with something cool, interesting, or funny maybe I would be in a better place And not sitting up late at night thinking about the time where I went for a handshake and they went for a high five My life has been a collection of waving at someone who’s waving at someone behind me And when my brain starts to wander there, there’s no turning back I feel so paralyzed that I can’t sleep I just want to be the boy who can drag a cigarette without coughing his lungs out But I know that’s not me and it will never be No it will never be
6.
Hate State 02:36
I’m sick and tired of televangelists, who only want to make money and propagate a passé passage to justify their bigotry But if today my only problem is Kenneth Copeland then I’m pretty fucking privileged I’m sick and tired of armed militias that want to protect property, they’d rather murder a protester, than see a burning building I know that all I have to do is get off Instagram, but I’m too fucking addicted I hate the state of everything, I wish that I could fall asleep for the rest of my life and not have to worry about a thing. I miss the blissful ignorance that I had when I was young and not afraid to go outside. But I can recognize that it’s my privilege that makes me want to close my eyes and not see a thing. Cause it’s harder for you in this country if you don’t look like me. FUCK
7.
IH8WEED 02:17
Take a hit then freak the fuck out Feeling heavy sink into the couch I wanna feel in control My heart is racing faster than it's ever raced before And I don't want to be here anymore There's a heartbeat in my brain I can feel the blood pumping through My veins I've given up on sleep tonight I'm feeling claustrophobic And I'm too afraid to turn off the lights I'm paranoid and looking out the window Hoping not to see the cops Cause they'd surely book me Holy shit can some call an ambulance? Cause this panic attack won't seem to go away. There's a heartbeat in my brain I can feel the blood pumping through My veins I've given up on sleep tonight I'm feeling claustrophobic And I'm too afraid to turn off the lights
8.
Secrets out Watch what you say I've been dreaming now I feel awake when I'm sleeping now Problems in life rather be without, so I'm dreaming now The colors blue, I fuck the sky and hug the moon I don't abide by human rules. I think the sentimental razor blade incisions in my skin is cool as women who post a pic up on the gram to fuck themselves with likes and mentions to avoid the truth. I think we had that shit in common, death is truth when you're too honest. I'd rather sleep than to have to hear another peep from you bastards. I'm absent from all of the teeth when they chatter. It's actually sad that I felt like I mattered, it's only a matter of time that this world will eventually shatter. And where do we go when the demons are climbing the latter to reach in and snatch up our souls? Cause we're just getting sadder and sadder each day, people are passing away, stuck in they houses today. Internet surfing like what's the new madness today? I'd rather dream than to deal with this shit. Secrets out Watch what you say I've been dreaming now I feel awake when I'm sleeping now Problems in life rather be without, so I'm dreaming now (Life isn't phasing me, staring at the ceiling)
9.
Sleepy Eyes 02:41
I swear I died. Or was I born for the first time when I saw your face in this light? An angel with soft skin and sleepy eyes I fell for you just like a fool who falls for anything And maybe, it's just the drinks but I feel like I'm floating Man, this is fucking bliss Cause you killed all my insecurities with just one kiss And now I'm hooked just liked I smoke a cigarette
10.
Ugly World 05:03
Today I'll sit around and eat until I nap and nap until I forget about the place I'm at I want to waste away and be no one. Then I'll wake to find I'm still inside my house afraid of what's outside I'll never venture out but I guess I made this bed, so I'll lie in it. This world is uglier than I remember it, remember it This world is uglier than I'd like to admit, care to admit to myself I pray our president will get the guillotine for hurting everyone that doesn't look like me I'm sick of everything. Yeah, I'm over it. Everyone has lost all their humanity they turn away from someone dying in the street well I want no part of it. Get me out. This world is uglier than I remember it, remember it This world is uglier than I'd like to admit, care to admit This world is uglier than I remember it, remember it This world is uglier than I'd like to admit, care to admit to myself

about

Pearson Parham/Vox/Guitar/Bass
Kyle Grant/Guitar
Jonathan Vandersloot/Drums

credits

released June 18, 2021

Engineered by Jonathan Vandersloot at Salado Studio
Mixed by Preston Dunnavant (with the exception of 'Staring At The Ceiling' which was mixed by Ben Beauchene)
Mastered by Ben Beauchene at Pillow Fort Studio
Album Art by Ross (@con.voluted on Instagram)

Bass on Eyes Closed and Hate State performed by Jonah Hunter

Writing assistance on Let Go courtesy of THE Sawyer Norman

Lead guitar on Eyes Closed performed by Ian Burrell of In/Between States

Gang vocals/screaming on Halloweentown 2, Return To Halloweentown 2 and Ugly World courtesy of Lucas Pelicano, Jonah Hunter, Mason Raines, and Teagan

Piano, synth, and rhodes on IH8WEED performed by Josh Cox and recorded by Ben Beauchene

Verse on Staring At The Ceiling written and performed by Teyon Knight aka Lö Indigo

We would like to dedicate this album to our families and friends for supporting us/encouraging us to create, the folks at The Radio Room for creating a space to play and express for the local upstate diy scene, Kevin King at Bavarian International School for mentoring and inspiring musical youth such as our very own Jonathan Vandersloot, the employees at the Fedex on North Pleasantburg for being nice and making sure our packages arrive at their destination in a timely manner, all our cats (Calvin, Claudia, Sugar, Molly, Lucy, and Brady), and last but not least Brenda from Cucho's for being lovely and always serving us delicious burritos with a smile.

Special thanks to all the bands and musicians who inspire us:

Curfue, Sawyer Norman, Versor, Real Face, Lö Indigo, Lanclier, and all the local Greenville SC musicians.

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Quality Time Greenville, South Carolina

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